I had to leave my posh accommodation today. There is a big political rally in Lucknow this week and all the decent hotels are rammed. So guess what? I’m back to my usual cheap and decidedly uncheerful low rent accommodation. To lift spirits as I walked the two miles to the rough end of town, I stopped for a roadside shave. It was an old style cutthroat job with a cracked mirror and cold murky water. No glass of Prosecco, no magazine to read, not even idle chitchat about where I’d be going on holiday this year (I suppose that would’ve been a daft question). My attendant was however highly skilled and brandished his well worn blade like a circus performer. In ten minutes, I was clean shaven and he moved on to a lengthy cycle of skin care applications. oil, talc, gels, potions, lotions, spit (probably) were smothered over my fresh and zingy face. Then came the head massage, which was mostly punching and slapping, but he kept a rhythm up that suggested it was a routine, rather than a random beating. Having now got his eye in on my beard, he grabbed his scissors and begun cutting my hair. I didn’t ask him to, he was simply in the swing of grooming, and nothing was going to stop him giving me the full works. I must say, he did a super job and it only cost me £2 all in. If he ever found himself moving to Bulgaria, I’d be a regular customer of his for sure.
I also went to the British Residency today, but I’ll leave that until tomorrow as it ties in nicely with the end of my story.
I should note for the serious reader, that the dates my sources offer for each significant action vary wildly. I still use Mallenson as my primary source of material but he seems to have a very unreliable diary if the other sources are to be credited. Hey ho. I assume no one is planning to sit an exam on the back of this short history. If they are, then good luck! If I were a real historian, I'd cross reference more thoroughly with a wider selection of sources - but I'm not, so you'll just have to accept that my dates are right up the cock in places.
My new favourite barber absolutely inSISted on giving me a side parting. No respectable Lucknowvian is without one this winter. French crops are sooo last spring. I think I look rather dapper with it and may well adopt the style ongoing.
The less well heeled end of town. My new hotel is a little better than this I have to say.
HISTORICAL NOTE:
Sir Colin Campbell was a British legend. By the time became commander in chief of India, he had already served in the Peninsular War, the 1812 war against the USA, the First Opium War, and the Second Anglo-Sikh War. He was the Colin Campbell of 'the thin red line' fame at the battle of Balaclava in the Crimea, and I think he was also the 'Hero of Umboto Gorge' but I can't be absolutely certain. He arrived in Calcutta on 13th August.
As senior officer in theatre, Campbell resolved to join Havelock and Outram in Kanpur and restore order. He was fortunate to have two highly competent subordinates in Havelock and Outram and equally fortunate to benefit from reinforcements bound for China but diverted to his aid and to help in crushing the mutiny. He was a 'lucky general'. 'Yes, yes, yes, I know he's brilliant, but is he lucky?' asked Napoleon of a general recommended for greater things.
Campbell arrived in Kanpur on 3rd November accompanied by a substantial forces of 5000 or so and advanced to Bani by the 9th November.
The besieged but recently bolstered forces at the Lucknow residency actually managed to extend their perimeter and suffered far fewer assaults and shelling. News reached them on the 9th October that Delhi had been recovered and that Campbell and relief for them was but three or four weeks away.
Campbell himself knew that he could take things steady as the residency was secure with little prospect of dire trauma. If he needed to, he could accelerate, but for now, slow and sure would preserve his strength. Campbell's bulk of numbers provided him security and the rebel Sepoys only hope was a conclusive battle to prevent relief, defeat Campbell, and destroy the residency for good. Campbell however wasn't going to be drawn. On the 16th November, he flanked the rebels and took the river route towards the inner city and the residency unopposed. Realising the deception, the mutineers shifted position and engaged. It was on this day that General Neill fell to a bullet in his brain. He was a stern and unforgiving officer, who today would be brought to book for some of the actions he ordered. He was however, given some very great praise by the men and officers under his command. He was certainly aggressive, a fine quality in a soldier. I think one might describe him today as 'driven'. Whether one chooses to accept that as too forgiving an epithet for a ruthless and impolitic senior officer, you can decide. Frankly, on balance, I suspect he was a bit of a shit, but people are rarely black or white and my sources far from objective. Neill was certainly a fairly dark shade of grey.
An impossible assault by a few volunteers on a fortified building, the imposing and grand Alambagh, just a couple of short miles from the residency itself, resulted in British forces pouring in to the place and securing a position from where the mutineers could be assailed from above, before darkness halted operations for the night.
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